Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am...

Ma'am. Seems so innocent. Harmless. Four little letters (and an apostrophe) that can totally ruin a girl's day. I like to think of my friends and I as a group of red hot mamas. Late 30-somethings, to almost 40 something moms that rock. We're cute, stylish, funny, partying ladies who can crush a 20-something in more ways than one. So why is it that when someone says the words "Thank you, Ma'am," we are ready to pounce...and curl up in a fetal position and cry? One of my friends recently found her neighbors dog roaming the streets. She brought the dog home, only to be greeted by the cute 20-something son in the driveway who had the gall to say "Thank you, Ma'am." Now, my friend looked cute. Dressed, make-up, hair done, and this jerk had the audacity to continue to refer to her as Ma'am several more times during the conversation. Can't someone please tell these people to stop using that word? It's not even a word. We live in the northeast, not in the deep south. Use the right terminology for cripes sake. "Bitch" would have been better. At least its empowering. "Ma'am" is like saying, "hey, thanks you old bag who I don't find sexually enticing in any way, so why don't you go home and knit a sweater or something." Or "thanks lady, who reminds me of my mother so go take a stool softener because I know people your age start to get irregular." I mean who does this kid think he is??? The nerve!! Once we were at a pool party and my friend's 5 year old told me that her "Bubbie" has the same bathing suit as me. That stung. But at least she was only 5. And her bubbie probably did have the same suit. That was just a simple observation by a 5 year old. But I have something to say to the 20-something "boys" who choose to call us "Ma'am." We may be older, but we are not only wiser, but hotter, more experienced in MANY ways, and just altogether more fabulous than ever. As one of my other friends said...we're "Bad Ma'amma Jammas!"